Classification of doctors. I never read anything funnier in my life!

Laughing with the whole family, I even printed it out for friends!

Doctors - a noble profession. They help us regain health and save lives. All doctors are needed, and I must give them their due for the fact that they continue to work in such difficult conditions!

And as in any profession, there is a sense of humor. We present to your attention a joking classification of doctors - from a pediatrician to a virologist! You can not describe it better. Read to the end, it is very funny! )))


This is not a doctor, this is a manager. He has no idea how to treat you, but can tell who knows. If he knows, who knows. But not the fact that the one he knows, knows how to treat you. In general, despite the fact that medicine has advanced far ahead, hope remains the same only for God, who, as we know, was canceled in 1917.


He's a surgeon as a sapper. It is mistaken only once. True, if a sapper makes a mistake only once in his life, then the surgeon makes a mistake only once in your life. Even if, after a surgeon's mistake, you managed to save your life, believe me, she does not need such a fucking thing for you.Like the sapper, the surgeon is guided not by accumulated information, but by intuition. And this is our happiness, because in medicine, intuition is still much safer.


These doctors have an obvious inferiority complex. At first they were called earworms. But it seemed to them frivolous. Then they began to be called LOR-doctors. But this was not enough for them. Now they are united with speech therapists, because without the help of speech therapists, people cannot pronounce their new name. And, frankly, do not really want. The most essential help from these doctors is when you can, at last, without hearing aids, be able to hear the name of his profession the first time. Do you need it?


Sometimes, so that they are not immediately recognized, they call themselves dentists. The most terrible doctors. One happiness, the number of conversations with them in an average person is limited to 32 visits. And for those who do not have wisdom teeth - 28 visits. But smart people have always said that fools live much easier (by 12.5%). So decide for yourself.


This also seemed a little and they began to call themselves ophthalmologists. People are extremely unpleasant, because they always want you to see what your eyes would not look at.


The most disadvantaged doctors, because they have two times less patients than the rest of the doctor. It is interesting that among gynecologists there are practically no men. Because in gynecology everything is strictly - either you are a man or a gynecologist. Try 61320 hours a year to look at the most interesting parts of the body of women, and I guarantee you that you will quickly lose interest in them. You can not turn a hobby into a profession.


The most respected doctor in medicine. It is he who provides the work of all other doctors.


The only doctor, the meeting with which involves at least something pleasant. Yeah ... For example, with fond memories. This is the most honest doctor. He is the only one to whom you pay for pleasure, even though this pleasure was not delivered to you.


Theoretically, it can cure everything except syphilis and fractures, since all diseases are from nerves. Almost absolutely useless. He may tell you "Do not be nervous", but just like you have no idea how to achieve this.


The most proactive doctor. He is absolutely sure (and it should be noted, he has a good reason) that all the inhabitants of this planet are his patients.Therefore, the main goal in the life of an allergist - is to find you have an allergy, until you run away from him.


And this is, accordingly, the most passive doctor. Unlike an allergist, he only vaguely realizes that all the inhabitants of this planet are his patients, and does not want to face the truth. Benefit from him too little. Well, tell me, can another patient help the patient? Interestingly, psychotherapists exist, but psychosurgeons never appeared.


The most envious doctor. He simply cannot allow you to be happy while he is forced to remain in this crappy world.

Expert in narcology

No, I'm lying. Here they are exactly the most envious, because they want to deprive a person of the last joy in life.


May God grant you never to know about its existence.


This is the bright side of a sex therapist. Sexologist tells you that you have a bad thing. The sexologist talks about how you can do it even better. The eternal theme is the struggle of light and hopelessness.


In vain laugh. With all the inconvenience - very necessary, although very unhappy doctor. Are you wondering who lives under your toilet rim and in other hard-to-reach places? No? And he must know every one of this reptile in person!


Despite the fact that medicine has taken a long way, these doctors, as they were, have remained in the ass.


Very helpful doctor. He makes you feel nothing. And if he makes a mistake - it's even for the better. In this case, you will no longer feel anything.

Gastroenterologist and nutritionist

Absolutely useless product of progress. Until the middle of the 20th century, they were quite successfully replaced by the Solovki, Vorkuta, Sakhalin and other places of natural treatment.


The most lazy doctor. He always tries to shift his work to your body.


The only doctor who does not share the delusion of his colleagues that if you quit smoking, all diseases will pass by themselves.


A doctor with a very narrow outlook. Unlike a sex therapist and a sexologist, he considers your manhood exclusively from the point of view of his side functions.


Absolutely devoid of romantic feelings. Only his words "Heart, you do not want peace" do not cause any positive emotions.


These doctors are very fond of sports. Almost all of its types, with the exception of perhaps chess.


If most doctors are engaged in order to remove from the body excess, then pharmacology on the contrary try to shove in it all and more. And then they observe with interest how the body will react to the bullying of itself.


Thanks to pharmacologists, this doctor will never be without work. At least for the time being, pharmacologies provide him with more than 50% work.


Very sociable doctor. It was he who had the rare happiness of practically expanding his circle of communication almost daily.


The same virologist, but suffering from delusions of grandeur.


Very cruel people. If all other doctors already reach us at a conscious age, then pediatricians are ready to deprive us of the most beautiful days of our life - our childhood.



Eliminates the consequences of bullying a person over his own body. If the pediatrician begins to be interested in us from the moment of birth, then we usually get into the hands of an orthopedist right after entering the school. In this regard, orthopedists work closely with the Ministry of Education.


The most harmless doctor.Usually he comes to you when sand is already pouring from you and the consequences of his treatment are already indifferent to you.


These doctors are perfectly settled. First they study you with X-rays. Then they study the negative consequences of their previous study. In principle, a radiologist can find out a lot of interesting things about you if he suddenly has a desire to use the fruits of his labor.


What, never heard? And in vain. These doctors are ready to encroach on the holiest thing that we have - to sleep. Purely theoretical - very useful and even universal branch of medicine. Only the somnologists thought that sometimes it is enough to cure one person from snoring to save everyone around him from insomnia. But how to cure this one, they have not had time to guess.


In my opinion, it's just a sadist. For some reason, he is sure that if you get a good shock, then it will be much easier for you. Apparently as a child, these doctors liked to put their fingers in the socket, and now they believe that everyone else must go through the torment that they once experienced.


And you thought it was all so simple - in the evening they got drunk and well, all night long, hugging the toilet. And no. Emetologist scientifically knows exactly what makes you sick.Even if your sick of him.


Do not feed him with honey, let him poke at you with any crap, the purpose of which is sometimes unknown to him. However, the method is quite effective. The organism very often, together with the endoscope, itself ejaculates from itself all that the endoscopist from it and tried to receive.

Medical examiner

The only doctor who does not even try to pretend that he treats someone.


The most professional of all doctors. Only he knows exactly what and why you ached.

Date: 12.10.2018, 03:38 / Views: 84135

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