Halsey - Without Me (Lyrics)
MS Didn’t Give You That, You Took It Back
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Sitting in the back garden this week reading – something I haven’t given myself the time to do of late – I hear the songs of a number of birds I’d not, knowingly, heard before. I sat the book down and just listened. The arborvitae hedge at the back of the yard is too thick and my chair wasn’t well positioned, so I couldn’t see all the birds that were chirping; I just listened.
It made me smile and it made me think toRusty’s lovely guest blogand your comments. I never used to give myself the time to just listen to the birds. I, like many of you, was always on the go. Even, however, when I did have the time, this was not a way in which I employed my leisure hours.
Now, it appears, I have that time.
But – and this is where Rusty knows I take exception with her and with all of us who think that somehow MSgaveus anything – this is a conscious decision to take back.
MS only took from us. It took careers, it took mobility, it took vision, you know what it took from you. I know what it took from me.Multiple Sclerosisdid not give us time to enjoy the other parts of life. Ittookthe other things with which we filled our lives (in some cases; I’m generalizing). If I decided to stop and listen to the birds yesterday, it isn’t because MS gave me that time.
AllMSdid was leave me a big, huge, festering hole in my life.
How I chose - howyouhave chosen - to fill that time; That’s the thing. Each of you has, like me, rolled up your sleeve and reached into that stinking dark place where MS ripped away our past and we grabbed hold of something deep within us and pulled it out.
I am a firm believer that we must give ourselves credit for what we have done with our lives after MS. I know (I mean I REALLY know) that I am a better person than I was before my diagnosis. I’ll not, however, give this stupid disease the credit formaking mea better person. I (along with dear friends and family) am the one who made me better.
We all know how to cope with difficulty better now than we used to. Did MSgive youthat ability? NO. MS just threw more difficulty on top of the heap. It’s YOU that did that. YOU learned how to cope; not because of but in spite of (and if ever “In Spite” was properly, I think it there).
MS didn’t make us stronger. We made ourselves stronger. We, together as a group, have made ourselves stronger. I am better for knowing all of you and you are for knowing one another. MS didn’t put us together. We reached out into the cyber world and we found other hands reaching into the darkness and we latched on. And we have continued to grab those who reach into the abyss that this disease dropped into their lives.
MS didn’t give us the ability to stop and smell the roses. MS knocked us down, kicked us into the gutter and tried to sweep us down the drain. It was we that crawled up, dragged ourselves along and found the damned rose bush to smell.
For all the self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth that multiple sclerosis has robbed from us, I want all of us to stop giving this disease credit for anything good in our lives. If any good came from it, You Earned It!
Give yourself permission to feel good about what you took back from this thief. You deserve it!
Now, back to my birds. They really are lovely.
Wishing you and your family the best of health.
Don’t forget that you can also follow me via our Life With MS Facebook page, on Twitter, and our new group on MS Connection.org. Check out our bi-monthly blog for the UK and look for our Very Special new monthly blog for the National MS Society.
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